A Fear of Heights

Does my notebook entry or "this". At first, no one will know that "it" means your notebook entry because your entry wasn't mentioned in a previous sentence. have lots of mistakes? or "have a lot of mistakes". You can also ask, "Does this/my notebook entry have a lot of mistakes (in it)?" I would greatly appreciate your help.

I have had a fear of heights since when I was a child. We are staying in a room on the top floor of this  hotel which has great ocean views from each of the balconies or "from each balcony" it has. I changed it to "it has" since you mean the hotel has several balconies and not that your room has several balconies. Also, the "it has" is optional. However, to enjoy or "in order to enjoy" my coffee, and sitting away from the guardrail or "edge of the balcony" is the best I can do on the balcony so far, although people have said or "people say" I will get used to it. You could also say something like, "I have to sit away from the edge of the balcony still to enjoy my coffee, although people say I will get used to sitting close to the edge soon."

Great job as always! Keep up the good work, Ai. :)

A Fear of Heights

Does it have lots of mistakes? I would greatly appreciate your help.

I have had a fear of heights {=acrophobia} since when I was a children.
We are staying in a room on the top floor of the hotel which has great ocean views from each of the balconies we have.* However, to enjoy my coffee, and sitting away from a fence the guardrail are is the best I can do at a on the balcony so far, although people have said {or "people say"} I will get used to it.

*This phrasing assumes that there is more than one balcony in your room/suite. If you mean that every suite/room has a balcony with an ocean view, then it's "...which has great ocen views from each balcony." {no "we have"}

A Fear of Heights

Does it have lots of mistakes? I would greatly appreciate your help.
I have had a fear of heights since when I was a children.
We are staying in a room on the top floor of the hotel which has great ocean views from the balconies that we have. However, enjoying my coffee and sitting away from a fence are the best I can do at a balcony so far, although people said say I will get used to it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pretty good overall! :)