Frank Yuan
A letter from me to myself On my 20th birthday, I wrote a letter to myself and I swore I wound not open it until 30. I told me about my situation then and asked me whether I would have a job I preferred, and whether I would find a girl I would love. I totally forgot this letter until my mother reminded me. When I opened and read it on my 30th birthday, it was like a magic that I felt like I was at my 20. I really like that feeling, so I wrote a new letter for my 40th birthday and I also answered questions I asked in the previous letter. I told me that I was happily working as an engineer and my family was sweet and I even had a daughter. I hoped my daughter would become tall and beautiful when she would be eleven years old. I am looking forward to reading that letter, and I should work hard so that I will not let 30's me down.
Sep 1, 2014 2:26 PM
Corrections · 5
1

A letter from me to myself my future self [1]

On my 20th birthday, I wrote a letter to myself and I swore I wound would not open it until I was 30 years old. I told me my future self about my situation then and asked me whether I would have a job I preferred, and whether I would find a girl I would love.

I totally completely [2] forgot this letter until my mother reminded me. When I opened and read it on my 30th birthday, it was like a magic that I felt like I was at my 20 it was like magic; I felt like I was 20 again. I really liked enjoyed [3] that feeling, so I wrote a new letter for my 40th birthday and I also answered questions I had [4] asked in the previous letter. I told the future me that I was happily working as an engineer,  and my family was sweet and I even had a daughter. I hoped my daughter would become be tall and beautiful when she would be eleven years old.

I am looking forward to reading that letter,. and I should work hard so that I will not let 30's me the 30-year-old me down.

 

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[1] In terms of grammar, your title is fine.  However, when we write about ourselves in different time periods (at 20, at 30, at 40), the pronouns can become very confusing.  To ensure our meaning is clear, we usually talk about "my future self" or "my past self" or words to that effect.

[2] Normally I would not correct the use of "totally".  However, because I know a little about your study goals, I will suggest that you avoid using the word "totally".  This word is so often mis-used that it hints at a person whose English is poor.  An example is a young girl who might say, "He was, like, totally hot."  For this reason, and for your circumstances, I recommend not usually "totally" unless you cannot think of any other word.

[3] Again, because you are looking to take exams, you should be careful with the word "like".  You have used this word three times in quick succession.  This is a very useful word, and I'm not suggesting that you avoid it.  However, you should avoid using it too often.  Often, there is a more descriptive word that you can use.

[4] The phrase "questions I asked in the previous letter" is correct.  However, because you are talking about yourself in two separate time periods, I have changed this to "questions I had asked" to clarify that it was the 20-year-old you who asked those questions.  If you get one of these time period questions in your exams, you may need to add extra words to clarify which version of yourself you mean.

 

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Please don't worry about how many corrections I have made.  Your original essay was very well written, and your English is very good.

September 2, 2014
There's a site you can use to write emails that you will receive in the future. It's called Futureme.org.
September 1, 2014
You're awesome )
September 1, 2014
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