[Deleted]
HELP WITH ME ESSAY Dear Sir, I am writing to correct some of the information about article that you have written, because you are giving completely wrong information to people. First of all I worked at that work camp, and I would say the title of your article is greatly exaggerated, we were not slaves as you said, we were working in good conditions with a good pay. You also wrote we were 30 foreign students, but in fact we were 15 students because that’s the maximum number, you also wrote we were working long hours for little more than pocket money on a local farm, however we worked only in the mornings with the weekends free, moreover you wrote that we were sleeping in old tents and with only one shower between 30 people, but actually we were sleeping in modern wooden buildings with showers that were so cozy. Furthermore you wrote that the students spend their days picking fruit and vegetables, it seems as if we were on such a deplorable conditions, but in fact we all have fun because of the great atmosphere and can say I would definitely go again. Your faithfully.
Sep 19, 2014 1:55 AM
Corrections · 3
1

HELP WITH ME ESSAY

Dear Sir,
I am writing to correct some of the information about an article that you have written, because you are giving completely wrong information to people. First of all,  I worked at that work camp, and I would say the title of your article is greatly exaggerated,;  we were not slaves as you said, we were working in good conditions with a good pay.
You also wrote that we were 30 foreign students, but in fact we were 15 students because that’s the maximum number,.  You also wrote that we were working on a local farm for long hours for little more than pocket money on a local farm, however we worked only in the mornings with the weekends free,.  moreover You also wrote that we were sleeping in old tents and with only one shower between 30 people, but actually we were sleeping in modern wooden buildings with showers that were so cozy.
Furthermore,  you wrote that the students spend their days picking fruit and vegetables, it seems as if we were on in such a deplorable conditions, but in fact we all have had fun because of the great atmosphere and  I  can say I would definitely go again.
Your faithfully.

 

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Your letter is very well written.  Well done.  Be careful of "run on sentences" which occur where you add a comma (,) and then start a new idea.  When making a new point, add a full stop (.) and start a new sentence.

September 19, 2014
1

Dear Sir,
I am writing to correct some of the information about an/the article that you have written, because you are giving completely wrong information to people. First of all I worked at that work camp, and I would say the title of your article is greatly exaggerated. We were not slaves as you said, we were working in good conditions with a good pay.
You also wrote we were 30 foreign students, but in fact we were 15 students because that’s the maximum number. You also wrote we were working long hours for little more than pocket money on a local farm, however we worked only in the mornings with the weekends free. Moreover, you wrote that we were sleeping in old tents and with only one shower between (for) 30 people, but actually, we were sleeping in modern wooden buildings with showers that were so cozy.
Furthermore you wrote that the students spend their days picking fruit and vegetables. It seems as if we were on such a in deplorable conditions, but in fact, we all had fun because of the great atmosphere and can say I would definitely go again.
Yours faithfully.

September 19, 2014
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