Natalia Piskunova
Please, correct my story 'Anastasia' My favorite cartoon is ‘Anastasia’. This is a cartoon-musical. I like it because there are many sings in this cartoon. All of them are so beautifully. And watching it I really enjoy. However, from this cartoon we will not know the true about past events that took place in Russia in the 20th century. This story is about Anastasia who was a daughter of the last tsar of Russia – Nicholas II. She and her family were killed by Soviet Bolsheviks in 1917. After her death, about 30 women announced that they are Princess Anastasia who ‘miraculously managed to escape’. But all of them lied. In cartoon we are watching a very different story. Anastasia was able to escape and then she has been living in an orphanage for 16 years. She met Dmitry who was looking for a girl similar Anastasia to give her grandmother for money. Anastasia did not know that she is Princess because she lost her memory. And Dmitry started to prepare her for a meeting with the grandmother. He told her about hobbies of Princess, about her relatives etc. Now it came the long-awaited meeting. The grandmother of Anastasia has so tired of all pretenders that at first she did not want to see this girl. Luckily the memory back to Anastasia and she remembered all. This cartoon is simple beautiful tale. There is almost no truth. Nevertheless, I will advise all (adults and children) to watch it. I am sure you will not be disappointed.
Sep 19, 2014 9:50 AM
Corrections · 4
1

Corrections in red.  Stylistics in blue.  

Please, correct my story 'Anastasia'

My favorite cartoon is ‘Anastasia’. This is a cartoon-musical.

I like it because there are many songs in this cartoon. All of them are so beautiful. And I really enjoying watching it. [Variant:  And watching it gives me a lot of enjoyment]. However, from this cartoon we will not learn the truth about past events that took place in Russia in the 20th century from this cartoon.

This story is about Anastasia who was a daughter of the last tsar of Russia – Nicholas II. She and her family were killed by Soviet Bolsheviks in 1917. After her death, about 30 women announced that they were [1] Princess Anastasia who ‘miraculously managed to escape’. But all of them were lying/lied.

In the cartoon, we are seeing/watching a very different story. Anastasia was able to escape, and then she lived in an orphanage for 16 years. She met Dmitry who was looking for a girl who looked like Anastasia in order to return give to her grandmother for money. Anastasia did not know that she was [1] a Princess, because she had lost her memory. And Dmitry started to prepare her for a meeting Anastasia's grandmother. He told her about the Princess's hobbies, relatives, etc.

Now it came the long-awaited meeting. The grandmother of Anastasia was so tired of all the pretenders that at first she did not want to see the girl. Luckily, Anastasia's memory returned, and she remembered everything.

This cartoon is simple, beautiful tale. But there is almost no truth to it. Nevertheless, I will recommend/advise that everyonel (adults and children) to watch it. I am sure you will not be disappointed.

 

[1]  Please read this:   Прошедшее время в главном предложении   which is found here:  http://usefulenglish.ru/grammar/sequence-of-tenses

 

 

September 19, 2014
Thank you, Gregg)
September 20, 2014
Suggested correction! Hope that it helps! My favorite ANIMATED FILM is THE MUSICAL 'Anastasia’. I like it because there are many SONGS in this FILM. All of them beautifully PERFORMED, AND I REALLY ENJOYED WATCHING IT. However, BY WATCHING THIS FILM WE WILL NOT LEARN THE TRUTH ABOUT EVENTS that took place in Russia in the 20th century. This story is about Anastasia who was a daughter of the last tsar of Russia – Nicholas II. BOTH she and her family were killed by THE Bolsheviks in 1917. After her death, about 30 women CLAIMED that they WERE Princess Anastasia AND HAD ‘miraculously managed to escape’. But all of them WERE LYING. HOWEVER, IN THIS Film, WE SEE a very different story. THE Anastasia OF THIS FILM was able to escape and has been living in an orphanage for 16 years. She MEETS Dmitry who HAS BEEN looking for a girl similar TO Anastasia, AS HER GRANDMOTHER HAS PROMISED TO PAY A REWARD IF SHE CAN BE FOUND. Anastasia WAS NOT AWARE THAT she is THE Princess, because she HAD lost her memory. Dmitry started to prepare her for a meeting with the grandmother. He told her about THE PRINCESS' hobbies, about her relatives etc. THEN CAME THE TIME FOR the long-awaited meeting. Anastasia's GRANDMOTHER has BECOME SO tired of all THE IMPOSTORS that at first she did not want to see this girl. Luckily ANASTASIA GETS HER MEMORY BACK AND REMEMBERS EVERYTHING. This cartoon is A simple AND beautiful tale. WHILE there is almost NOTHING TRUE ABOUT THE PLOT, I nevertheless RECOMMEND THAT EVERYONE (adults and children) watch it. I am sure you will not be disappointed.
September 19, 2014
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