Riccardo
Help me with a motivation letter I have to write a motivation letter in order to attempt to enter into an important organization. Could you help me? Obvioulsy,It doesn't have to contain grammatical mistakes, and I think it should be a little formal. THANK YOU Here what I have already written: My primary objective is to actively and personally contribute to the development of cutting edge tools in the service of science and research. I do not want to limit myself choosing to perform every day the same task: without being presumptuous, I know I am talented and creative, so I want to make the most of my qualities, I want my qualities to be at service of the entire humanity, I do not want they will be buried in a company without foresight and ductility. From this point of view, the XXX would be both an arrival and a starting point for me. Indeed, on the one hand it would allow me to put all my knowledges at the service of a big organization, turning me into an integral piece of the history that will be written: the countless hours of study would be finally put to use and I could contribute in a small part to the research. On the other hand, this experience would be a springboard, a starting point, because it would allow me to get in touch with part of the European scientific elite: it is true that I believe I have a lot of potential, but at the same time I am also aware that there are many obstacles I have to cross in order to best express myself and my abilities, and a place characterized by excellence and interdisciplinarity like XXX would greatly stimulate my intellectual, mental and personal growth.
Oct 25, 2014 9:55 AM
Corrections · 4

Help me with a motivation letter

I have to write a motivation letter in order to attempt to enter into an important organization. Could you help me? Obvioulsy,It  shouldn't  contain grammatical mistakes, and I think it should be a little formal. THANK YOU
Here is what I have already written:

My primary objective is to actively and personally contribute to the development of cutting edge tools in the service of science and research. I do not want to limit myself to choosing to perform  the same task every day: without being presumptuous, I know I am talented and creative, so I want to make the most of my qualities, I want my qualities to be at the service of humanity, I do not want them to be buried in a company without foresight and ductility. (??)From this point of view, the XXX would be both an arrival and a starting point for me. Indeed, on the one hand it would allow me to put all my knowledges at the service of a big organization, turning me into an integral piece of the history that will be written: the countless hours of study would be finally put to use and I could contribute in a small part to the research. On the other hand, this experience would be a springboard, a starting point, because it would allow me to get in touch with part of the European scientific elite: it is true that I believe I have a lot of potential, but at the same time I am also aware that there are many obstacles I have to cross in order to best express myself and my abilities, and a place characterized by excellence and interdisciplinarity like XXX would greatly stimulate my intellectual, mental and personal growth.

October 25, 2014

As requested, this is how I would write in a very formal way and yet not sounding pompous.  You can say, it is alway a rewrite. I am sure your goal is not to write a contest winning entry but to show your flair and elegance in obtaining work in this place.  Hence, the way you express far outweighs your grammar etc.


My primary objective is to actively and personally contribute to in the development of cutting edge tools in the service of technology for science and research. I do not want to limit myself choosing to perform every day the same task: without being presumptuous, I know I am talented and creative, so I want to make the most of my qualities, I want my qualities to be at service of the entire humanity, I do not want they will be buried in a company without foresight and ductility. If you are looking for a paper pusher, to be buried or shackled in the layers of company bureaucracy, then I am not qualified.  I am someone who has a sense of creativity and boundless curiousity to seek the fundamental truth of things. I am a solution seeker.

 

From this point of view, the XXX, in my mind is a forward looking company in which I believe that would be beneficial to both of us sharing the same goal.    would be both an arrival and a starting point for me. Indeed, on the one hand it would allow me to put all my knowledges at the service of a big organization, turning me into an integral piece of the history that will be written: the countless hours of study would be finally put to use and I could contribute in a small part to the research. On the other hand, this experience would be a springboard, [Who would want to hire you if you are using them as a springboard to your future goals!  In hiring, it is about the company and the contributions you can give.  Not about you.]a starting point, because it would allow me to get in touch with part of the European scientific elite: it is true that I believe I have a lot of potential, but at the same time I am also aware that there are many obstacles I have to cross in order to best express myself and my abilities, and a place characterized by excellence and interdisciplinarity like XXX would greatly stimulate my intellectual, mental and personal growth.


I look forward to an interview to see and discuss how I can contribute my knowledge and expertise to a most meaningful relationship.  I thank you for the consideration and time to read my letter.

October 27, 2014
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