Yap Jun Hong
Bussen (The bus) Gutten ståt, venter. Han hadde ventent alltid morgen på bussen til skol. Endelig, hvit bussen kom. "Hei, Øle. Dine mor kjøring ikke i dag?" sier bussjåføren. "Nei. Mor er i Sveits. Hun tok en fly i går." Svarer ham som han fikk på bussen. "Oi." Gryntent bussjåføren. "Kom. Til skol nå." Veien var stille. i sjøren til hans venstre, båtene ser pen ut, fra rød til grønn til blå. Gutten synes noen var følgende dem. "Jeg tar helst gamle tid, når mer båter var har. Når er mer. Mer av alltid bortsett fra båter. Ah! Romantisk, nei?" Sier bussjåføren mens han kjørte. Gutten vet ikke hvordan svarer. Han bare vet kulden, og kose seg varm. Sakte, bussen flyttet... The boy stood, waiting. He had waited all morning for the bus to school. Finally, the white bus came. "Hello, Øle. Your mother isn't driving today?" The bus driver asked. "No. Mother's in Switzerland. She took a plane yesterday." He replied as he got on the bus. "Oi." Grunted the bus driver. "Come. Let's go to school now." The road was quiet. To his left, in the sea, the boats looked beautiful, from red to green to blue. The boy thought they were following them. "I prefer the old times, when there were more boats. Now there's more. More of everything except boats. Ah! How romantic, no?" The bus driver said as he drove. The boy did not know how to reply. He knew only of the cold, and cuddled up to keep himself warm. (I wrote this mainly to practice vehicle words that my teacher and I went through. We also talked about colours and what our interests were, so I've taken the words and adapted them to this story as much as I could. It turned out to be good practice for grammar like 'the boat', 'the boats', 'the bus' etc. There was also, unintentionally, 'location' phrases. 'To his left', when talking about the sea, or 'prefer the old times', when discussing time relative to the present. Admittedly it's still a lot of English grammar-Norsk grammar translation, but I'm learning from my last notebook entry [I hope!]. Certainly, the story telling narrative is harder than normal descriptions, but it's a fun challenge!)
Oct 29, 2014 10:49 AM
Corrections · 1

Did the first half of your story, but didn't follow through.

 

Bussen (The bus)

Gutten ståt, venter. Gutten sto og ventet. Han hadde ventent alltid morgen hele morgenen på bussen til skolen. Endelig, hvit bussen kom. Endelig kom den hvite bussen. 

 

"Hei, Øle. Dine mor kjøring ikke i dag? Kjører ikke moren din idag?" sier bussjåføren.

<em>You can say "sier bussjåføren", but since it's a question, it sounds more natural to say "spør bussjåføren" Å spørre=to ask.</em>

 

"Nei. Mor er i Sveits. Hun tok en fly flyet i går." Svarer ham som han fikk på bussen. Svarte han mens han gikk på bussen.

<em>It's common to say "hun dro i går" (she left yesterday). You can also say "hun flydde i går", but it doesn't sound quite as natural.  </em>

 

"Oi." Gryntent gryntet bussjåføren. "Kom. Til skol nå."

<em>"kom. Til skol nå" doesn't work, and i'm not quite sure what corrections to suggest. "Kom, så drar vi til skolen" can work. "Kom igjen" (means come, but with the implication that "we need to get going"). "Kom, så kjører jeg deg til skolen" (come, I will drive you to school) can also be an alternative. </em>

 

P.S.: Øle isn't a name. But "Ole" is :)










October 29, 2014
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