[#1] Korean Traditional Hanok Village, Joenju !

Hello. I'm Korean, and I would like to be good at English. Although I'm not good at English yet, I'll practice it everydays. Please help me ssssomebody.e My profile was taken in Joenju, Korea. Joenju is a famous place to native Koreans nowadays. There are various traditional Korean foods such as Bibimbap, grilled pork ribs, dumplings, and so on. So many Koreans go there every weekend.

아주 많이 한국 사람은 가다 = So many Koreans go. // So = 아주

~~ 그레서 많이 한국 사람은 가다 = ~ and so on, so many Koreans go. // ,so = 그레서

Sometimes they have to line up to eat it.

I experienced in a Hanbok, Korean traditional clothes, and I slept in a Hanok guest house that is a Korean-style house.

더 자연스러운 - I tried on Korean traditional clothes called a Hanbok, and I slept in a Korean-style house called a Hanok.

Yet Joenju has not become well-known to foreigners yet. So I want to let them know the Joenju's traditional beauty.

더 자연스러운 - Jeonju is not well-known among foreigners yet, so I want to let them know about Joenju's traditional beauty.

WOW! Joenju sounds awesome. I started editing your paragraph before you changed it. My Korean is not very good yet, but I hope it helped. Let me know if you have questions.

[#1] Korean Traditional Hanok Village, Joenju !

Hello. I'm Korean. My profile picture was taken in Joenju, Korea. Joenju is a has become a famous place to native Koreans nowdays. There are many various traditional Korean foods such as Bibimbap, grilled pork ribs, dumplings and so on. So many  There are alot of Koreans that go there every weekend. Sometimes they have to line up to eat it. * "Sometimes they even have to wait in line to eat" sounds more natural*
I also *you need "also" to connect the two paragraphs* experienced in wearing Hanbok, Korean traditional clothes clothing. After that, I slept in a Korea style Hanok guest house. and I slept in Hanok guest house that is korea-style house. (Yet Joen ju not become known to foreigners. So I want to let them know the Joenju's traditional beauty.) "Because Joenju is not well known to many foreigners, I want to let them know about Joenju's traditional beauty"

Biggest thing that I changed was inserting  "also, because, and after that". Linking words are very important when it comes to telling a story.