I want to let you know that this type of feeling is very natural, and that you are not alone. I've spoken with many people who feel the same way. It's important to fully understand that the bad parts of life ARE life - just like the good parts - and that's okay. What is important is that you don't get stuck in them - though it can be hard not to, right? Being able to express your feelings is the very best first step you can make. You should know that you have ALREADY made progress just by doing this! However, it's very important that you speak with someone who understands your situation. Please try to find a suicide or depression prevention phone number or website that you can visit to get support. Again, I know that some people feel like they don't need to do that. But let me tell you that there are many more people struggling with these feelings than you know. The people at the depression and suicide prevention clinics are there to help you, just as they have helped many people before. The way you feel now isn't how you've always felt, right? In the same way, it's not the way that you will always feel. Please find and speak with a professional, so that one day you can look back at this moment and be glad that you did.

Tell somebody about this IN PERSON. I know this is hard to do. It is important. Doing it over the Internet was courageous, a good first step. I hope it will make the next step easier. The next step is that you need to do it in person, not over the Internet. Do you have any companion you can share a secret with? Any sympathetic listener? Or, a teacher, a doctor. a priest. a social worker. Keep two possibilities in mind: 1) you may not be getting enough sleep; 2) it could be the result of a medical condition that should be treated. You may be in a bad place in your life. THAT PLACE ISN'T THE WORLD. Don't leave the WORLD just because you want to leave the place you are in.

You are so beautiful and young, Ada. I'm sure these are not your only virtues.I strongly believe that everyone was born for some great purpose and you are no exception. Look at your problems as an opportunity to become stronger and don't give up. You've given a lot of good advice here. I hope you will follow it. May the Lord bless you and keep you.

姑娘放弃不是最好的解决方法，反正在天朝大部分人毕业之后都是痛苦而劳累的活着的。 不要去和别人作比较什么，这是你的生活，你要做的就是用你的方法活下去。

I guess you need to talk about that with a friend, a colleague or with a person that have skills to listen to you and help you. Don't take it bad but it sounds not a good place here to talk with your issues, despite the fact there are kind people here (I mean, this is not related so far about languages). I hope I'm not rude with you, this is not my intention, but this is not a psychology website :)