A Picture Composition
This composition was written by my sister who is preparing for her graduate school exam. I just had it revised but was not quite satisfied with the revision. Hope you can give me some advice and corrections to make it better.
Have no mercy on me!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As is vividly depicted vividly in the cartoon, on the athletic track runs a young boy is on the relay track rushing racing to the finish lineend. But, Instead of enjoying the savoring of victory after breasting the tape, he continued to run across the finishing line on and entered , entering another competition. which starts from the ending.
Simple as the cartoon is, the symbolic meaning The depiction is simple but its symbolism is very profound. It shows the universally immutable law governing our lives 1life, work or even we human beings that If we want to make progress, we must always forge ahead. Just like Nelson Mandela once said, after climbing a great hill mountain2, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
With the globalization and China's integration into the world becoming progressively faster, the competition among? countries and among? individuals are getting increasingly fierce over recent years. Competition becomes increasingly fierce. No one can stay at the top for a long time remain the top dog for long without the constantly striving need to strive for progress. no country can always stay ahead of other countries without uninterruptedly innovating and reforming.
? This applies equally to countries - unceasingly to innovate and to reform.
New scientific discoveries are being made everyday every day 3. Knowledge isrelated to our major or study is being updated rapidly updated constantly and rapidly. As a college student, if we rest upon our Resting on past achievements laurels and be contented contentment with the present situation, we will definitely dull our senses and lose our best opportunities for bigger to greater development and excellence. So just let us stay hungry and not be satiated with our current achievements but to keep on running. to better adapt to the ever-changing world.
Is your sister trying to fulfill the word limit requirement? If so, then more facts are needed than to add superfluous words etc.
1. You haven't shown clearly what this law is. You need to expand on this.
2. A hill is defined to be 500 and under. Any higher would be considered as a mountain. Therefore using a hill here shows the triviality of the situation.
3. "Everyday" and "every day" are different. Check a good dictionary.
A Picture Composition
This composition was written by my sister who is preparing for her graduate school exam. I just had it revised but not quite satisfied with the revision. Hope you can give me some advice and corrections to make it better.
Have no mercy on me!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As is vividly depicted in the cartoon, on the athletic track runs a young boy, rushing to the end. But, instead of enjoying the savoring the of victory after breasting the tape, he continues to run across the finishing line, entering another
competition which starts from the ending of the first.
Simple as the cartoon is, the symbolic meaning is very profound. It shows the universally immutable law governing our life, work or even we human beings that if we want to make progress, we must always forge ahead. Just like Nelson Mandela once said, after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
With the globalization and China's integration into the world becoming progressively faster, the competition among? countries and among? individuals are getting increasingly fierce over recent years. No one can stay at the top for a long time without constantly striving for progress; no country can always stay ahead of other countries without uninterruptedly continually innovating and reforming.
?
New scientific discoveries are being made everyday. Knowledge related to our major or studies is being updated rapidly. As a college students, if we rest upon our past achievements and be content with the present situation, we will definitely lose our best opportunities for bigger further development and excellence. So just let us stay hungry and keep on running to better adapt to the ever-changing world.
[Note: The English here is quite excellent. Most of my changes were no correction of errors, but a re-wording from a native speaker. The choice here was not obvious, even for me.]
