T
Tsukino
For the first time I wrote a poem in English. This is what I’ve wanted to try :) Elephant Your kindness always seems so gray, It leads me to the cave, Where I’ve buried my past. Still, I hope we might somehow last. Through the crystal cage, I see elephants walking in the shade. Their eyes always make me feel shame, No words, like the waves of the night, I feel so blamed by the world, How should I touch, how should I swallow your words? Through the crystal cage, I see elephants walking in the shade. A quiet glance, judging every moment, As I try to interpret this indescribable torment.
19. Jan. 2025 00:53
Kommentare · 5
P
Pete from Boston
Professionelle Lehrkraft
1
Very deep, and expressive.
19. Jan. 2025 08:20
Tsukino
I really appreciate you leaving a comment. Thank you for reading it.
19. Jan. 2025 09:45 · Antworten
Pete from BostonTsukino
👍🙂
19. Jan. 2025 09:45 · Antworten
A
Ahmadi Nacer Eddine
Community-Tutor
1
This is a very powerful and thought-provoking poem. I love the way you've used "elephants" as a symbol—they seem to represent heavy, almost overwhelming emotions like shame, judgment, and the weight of the past. The imagery of the "crystal cage" is particularly striking, conveying a sense of both entrapment and fragile separation from the outside world. The repetition of "Through the crystal cage, I see elephants walking in the shade" creates a haunting rhythm that mirrors the sense of being trapped in these feelings. Your use of "blamed by the world" and "judging every moment" really conveys internal conflict, while the phrase "How should I touch, how should I swallow your words?" speaks to the difficulty in responding to or even processing the kindness you mention at the start. If you're open to suggestions, I might recommend exploring the contrast between the "gray kindness" and the emotions of shame and torment in a bit more depth—maybe drawing out how those contrasts interact throughout the poem. That could add a layer of complexity, but your poem is already deeply evocative and moving.
 ...Weiterlesen
19. Jan. 2025 22:36
Tsukino
I really appreciate that you tried to interpret my poem so deeply. I hope you enjoyed this and what I wanted to express in this poem has been conveyed. And thank you for your wonderful suggestion.
20. Jan. 2025 12:03 · Antworten
T
Tsukino
Sprachfähigkeiten
Englisch, Japanisch, Latein, Russisch
Lernsprache
Englisch, Latein, Russisch
Englisch Lehrkräfte für Sie
Minenhle Mkhize
4.9
· 85 Unterrichtsstunden
Unterrichtsstunden ab $5
Anas
4.9
· 321 Unterrichtsstunden
Unterrichtsstunden ab $10
Joel Tayem
5.0
· 1208 Unterrichtsstunden
Unterrichtsstunden ab $7
Nomvuyo
5.0
· 97 Unterrichtsstunden
Unterrichtsstunden ab $7
Teacher-Ruth.
4.9
· 2183 Unterrichtsstunden
Unterrichtsstunden ab $6
LIZ
4.9
· 598 Unterrichtsstunden
Unterrichtsstunden ab $10
Weitere Lehrkräfte