“Playing computer games is a waste of time”… (ESSAY)
Nowadays people spend most of their time playing computer games but it is a very (very doesn't work on its own here...you could say very big)waste of time because you could spend it in other activities.First all, the case has extended to younger and older people, this aspect is very worrying because on one hand, the young tend to become lazier and unsocialantisocial and on the other hand (this expression is not right for this sentence), the older people too and do not give the example to their childrenare giving a bad example to their children. It would be start from parents, who should encourage their children in making friends and playing outdoors activities; they should teach to their children how they can feel happy at playing in a simple manner and not playing computer games for a long time.
Consequently, the problems could be becoming addicted to these computer games and after it could be very difficult to grow (I see what you are trying to say here, you should use the word pull) them away from games. Then, the children could be relationship’s problems and they could be unable to see another point of view about games. I am confused about what you are trying to say here.
Actually all these computer games are all aggressive and they pass down an use abusive language and a threating behaviour not good for our children.
On the balanceIn conclusion, I strongly suggest persuading our children in other activities and give them a rule on playing computer games, preventing they could becometo prevent them from becoming quick-tempered, bad- tempered and too lazy. It is right that the initiative starts from the parents. It is never too late.
You write very well and clearly. The phrase "on the other hand" is used when you are going to say some contradictory or opposite information. For example, "video games make children quick-tempered, on the other hand, video games make children happy"
Essay: Opnion That Playing Computer Games Is A Waste Of Time
Nowadays, people spend more time playing computer games, but in my opinion, this is a waste of time, because one could spend time doing other things.
First of all, I feel that playing computer games too much affects both younger people, and older people alike. I find this to be concerning, because I feel that younger people are becoming lazier and more antisocial, but also, I feel older people too are not setting a good example for their children. In my opinion, it starts with the parents who should encourage their children to make more friends and play outdoors more, and tell and show them that they do not need to play computer games constantly.
There is a possibility that both young and old, could become addicted to computer games and they may find it difficult to do other things and not play computer games all the time. Children may suffer relationship problems, because they may unable to see other points of view. I feel that many computer games are too violent and could potentially teach aggressive behavior and bad language to young children, which I feel is not a good thing.
I feel parents should persuade their children to do other things than play computer games, and I feel parents should set rules and limitations for their children with regards to playing computer or other types of video games. Setting rules and convincing children to do other things, I think would cause children to become less quick tempered, and would prevent them from becoming lazy. However, I still maintain that these changes should start with the parents, it's never too late to change.
I think you did a pretty good job with this essay Edoriana, but I also think there were a few issues as well. Overall, you did good, but I feel your word choice was a little lacking for this type of essay. The type of essay you have written here is called an opinion, opinionated or a POV (Point Of View) essay. It is therefor very important to choose words carefully, more so than with other types of essays or styles of writing. It's very important in an essay like this that you clearly state for your readers that what you are sharing is your opinion, or point of view. You do this by word choice, such as using phrases like: "In my opinion", "But in my opinion" "It is my belief that" and others similar to the examples I just gave. If you have any questions, please let me know!
