I found this following transcript and corrected it a little. Obviously, it still incorrect because my listening skill is not perfect. Please, help me to find mistakes here:

­   -Honey!

­   -How's that roast coming along?

­   -It's almost ready dear.

­   -Gee dad. That sounds close. Dad, it stopped right in front of the house.

­   -What's going on?

­   -Alright everybody. Let's all just calm down. I'll take care of this.

­   -Nice to meet you folks! Fire Marshall Bill here.

­   -Won't you come in.

­   -Don't mind if I do?

­   -Wow! A real fire man

­   -That's right princess. Say! You sure have a beautiful family here.

­   -Why, thank you Fire Marshall Bill! Now how can we help you?

­   -Well. It's National Fire Safety Week. I been going door to door looking for fire hazards. Mind if I give your place a little inspection? (extreme...ha-ha-ha)

­   -Please do.

­   -Son! Does your father always smoke a pipe?

­   -Yes sir.

­   -Pipes, cigarettes.Number one cause of domestic fires. Let me show you something.

­   -Certainly!

­   -Now. Say, one night you drifting off to sleep on the couch...and the pipe falls out of your hand like that. Now you start dreaming that your having a little barbeque you pulled out a can of lighter fluids. Boom! Yeah, like that.

­   -Fire Marshall Bill, your fingers are on fire.

­   -That's nothing. I got fire some many times I can't even feel it anymore.The trick- is not to panic. Fire...is...your friend! Uh oh... Look what I found. Down at the station, we like to call this an octopus. Let me show you something. Pull these out. It becomes an exposed electrical outlet. Let's just say it's after dinner...

You got a fork in your hand. Somebody says... Hey, I got to know about this. "Where, where?"

­   -Fire Marshall Bill. Are you okay?

­   -Are you joking? I've been hit by lighting nineteen times.

­   -That's horrible!

­   -Not really.You start to enjoy it. Okay everybody. Out to the kitchen. Now your kitchen area is all to common locale...For fires. First time I spontaneously combusted was in a kitchen unlike this one.It was one of those hot knifes.I open the fridge and ***poof*** Went off like a powder cake. Ha-ha-ha... Good thing I knew stop, drop, and roll

­   -Your hand's on fire!

­   -So it is.That's a sure sign that your gas flow hasn't been collaborated properly. Ha-ha-ha...No. Say, you got yourself a bit of a virus.Your looking for a box of tissues...But it's not there......and it is too late.Next thing you know, your gas light goes out on your new gas scratch. Suddenly your house...is hit by a giant meteor star that is totally unexpected. One of those hot little babies comes straight through the kitchen window.You just happen to be holding a match.

­   -HEY!

­   -Your not going to light that, are you?

­   -Don't worry folks...I'm a Fire Marshall...

­   -Oh, God, mommy!

­   -It's going to be okay sweetheart.

­   -Everything we had was in there.

­   -They just keep building up fires, don't they? HEY! NEIGHBOR! Is that a wood shingle roof you got there?

Let me show you something.