@Florian

I'm not ignorant to the fact that people who appear physically attractive and people who confirm with the beauty norms of their respective culture have a headstart when it comes to be chosen or liked by other people. But I contest this concept and have a different definition of beauty. I can relate to the idea of a beautiful mind that drasvi mentioned. I'm attracted by beautiful minds and beautiful souls. I can find someone with an old wrinkly face beautiful, I can find someone with a facial disfigurement beautiful. The beauty that I see in people isn't something temporary. And that's what I teach my children. Not to judge other people by their looks and also not to rely on their pretty faces and smiles to have success in life. The other day I shared a video on Facebook and wrote the comment "A beautiful woman". It was a documentary about Youtuber Piyah Martell who was born with sacral agenesis. This results in her body looking like only having an upper half. Also, she's a transwoman. So, for some people she's neither beautiful nor a woman. The idealisation of norm conforming beauty is hurting a lot of people. Many people suffer from eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorders, anxieties. And we talked about the trend of beauty surgeries in Asia on this forum before. I think it's dangerous development, so I'm not taking part in this game. I definitely don't say that physical attractiveness and intelligence exclude each other. That's often a problem of beautiful women that many people don't take them seriously because they can't believe that someone can be pretty and smart at the same time. But there's too much pressure on women to always look good and young. Why can't people just look the way they are?

Beauty is not temporary

Women are beautiful no matter their age

@Florian

I’m not longing for a world without physical attractiveness. It is impossible. There will always be ideals of what is regarded as physical attractive because we humans are subconsciously looking for people we can successfully reproduce with. Hence we’re in general attracted by young, healthy or wealthy people because they seem to be fertile or able to take care for the offspring. But the idea of what beauty is, is very different in the various cultures. In Asia, white skin and big eyes (and many women therefore have an eyelid surgery) are considered attractive, whereas in Western countries tanned skin is regarded as attractive. What is considered fat in Asia can still be regarded as slim or average in Europe and in Mauretania women are force-feed before marriage because traditionally obesity is regarded as desirable.

There can’t be a world without beauty if we were all the same because then that would be regarded as beauty. What is regarded as beautiful in humans isn’t anything outstanding but it’s the average. The most important is having a symmetrical face and clear skin. If you look at super models without makeup they look like very normal women. They’re still pretty but not stunning beauties. In order to look stunning with makeup and being able to be transformed into different characters one has to have a quite plane looking face because it’s more of a canvas for the makeup artist.

There also can’t be a world only with intellectuals. There have to be people with practical talents who grow the food and built the houses. But a world with education for everyone would be nice for starters. We italki users are all privileged because we all have and had access to education.

Florian, I’d like to live in a world that’s less judgmental. It’s impossible to not judge other people because it’s an instinct. But I try my best to not judge other people for their looks or their intellect. I try to accept them as they are.

How are you doing?

Okay so. I may not be open minded but I am very much non-judgemental.

But honestly in my short span of experience I have not had a good experience with men who said those things in the earliest interactions. I tried and tried to be friendly with them thinking of these things as innocent compliments and returend them with Thanks.

But over a short span of time they escalated into pretty uncomfortable, questions like "are you alone", "can I see more pictures of you" follow (worser things also sometimes) Is this innocent too?

I don't like being mean to people who are kind. But when I know what will follow I just feel like a toy which will be played with and tossed over. I hate this thought and those experiences.

On the other hand I want to feel beautiful and young, I want to feel attractive. I wonder how pageant girls do it without such limitations. I do believe that beauty is power I like having compliments on my appearance and nature too. But I don't like when it happens that way.