I like this topic.  Niceness or Sincereness?  I think what society really needs to strive for is a sincereness of niceness.

If you're hurrying down the street because you're late for work and notice a person in front of you drop a paper, do you be nice and pick it up and give it to them?  Or, since you're sincerely concernced about hurrying to work, do you ignore it?  Where society needs to get to is where it doesn't even enter your mind to NOT pick up the paper for them.

This line made me think, too: "...engaged in an activity with another person which we do not feel happy about..."  Not everyone is going to get along, that is true.  However, if you are sincerely a nice person, why would you let another person dictate how YOU feel?  Why give them the power to make YOU miserable?  I, for one, do not prefer to be sincerely miserable and I try my best not to let other people make me so.

Will we as a society ever get to this point?  I highly doubt it.  I've come to discover that people love strife.  If they don't have enough strife in their lives, they'll create some.  (Hey, how else can you explain the popularity of "reality television" shows?)  But, that doesn't mean that we should just give up on the idea.

A lot of people are "nice" about Asian countries these days and Asian people, but personally I find there is an undercurrent of paternalism and a patronizing attitude in that niceness. Scratch the surface and if you as an Asian don't act like the stereotypical Asian that they think you should be, the real ugly side of the people quickly surfaces. And they backbite about the said Asian country or people to each other in private. Or if they find things in Asian society that are not the same as in the west and challenges their conventional ways and mode of thinking, the nice people are quick to become judgmental and critical in a close-minded way. So it's the case that a lot of "nice" people are actually two-faced. The "niceness" comes with an air of cultural superiority. There is a lot of condescension.

Many "koreaboos" are like this. Also many westerners learning Asian languages are the same. 

With some "nice" people, I feel you can't be completely honest when you discuss things with them. You have to watch yourself in case you offend them as people from "nice" societies can be easily offended. In "nice" societies, it is hard to get close to people. In a nutshell, nice people I have come across tend to be conformist, fake and judgmental. You cannot speak your mind openly or frankly. Too many layers of propriety to get through. On the other hand there are a few nice people I have come across in Korea who are also open-minded and accepting of someone who has a different personality and views to them. I feel they are pretty easy to talk frankly to and even though they may not agree about certain things, we do not clash. In fact, they have a gentle way of showing their disagreement, using humor and irony. Those sorts of nice people I get on well with. 

I can already feel the "nice" people feeling upset and angry with this post I have made, and getting ready to down vote me on this comment. 

I don't think that ''nice'' and ''sincere" have to be opposites.  I try to live my life sincerely wanting to be kind to others.  This often means being cruel but honest.  When I encounter a student who has learned English concepts incorrectly, I sincerely want to repair the errors learned elsewhere.  I don't want to hurt the student but why tell someone that their writing or speech is good when it isn't .  This type of advice doesn't help anyone.

Sometimes it is difficult to forgive, especially when others cheat, lie, and steal.  I am trying to learn to borrow from the forgiveness of others and go by the rule that I must accept the apology of others even if it sounds insincere. 

I am disappointed when others promise and fail to deliver.  If I say that I will review something that someone has written and I read it and it is terrible, I still owe the author a comment.  I will not markup extremely poor writing, but I will point out errors and suggests ways of improvement. 

I want honesty when others review what I write.  I do check dates and see if the poor writing was an early first effort.  I look for improvement in those cases.  So many have reviewed old submissions of mine and either tell me that my horrible first efforts are great, or they suggest that I rewrite it in a way that means the opposite of what I intended.

Does this mean we have to cruel to kind?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0l3QWUXVho&feature=kp