The Tim じぁん!!!
It was sunny today. After lunch, we took MeeMaw to the church to join the assembly. Dad and I strolled around the area and discovered an animal shelter. I had a strong urge to adopt a puppy, but of course, Dad said no. Many friendly dogs were loose and allowed to run about freely. A Chihuahua lay on its back next to me and basked in the sun. I rubbed its belly multiple times, and it clearly enjoyed it. Time flies when you’re with adorable animals. We spent hours there.
Feb 9, 2025 10:59 AM
Corrections · 5
2
It was sunny today. After lunch, we took MeeMaw to the church to join the congregation. Dad and I strolled around the area and discovered an animal shelter. I had a strong urge to adopt a puppy, but of course, Dad said no. Many friendly dogs were loose and allowed to run about freely. A Chihuahua lay on its back next to me and basked in the sun. I rubbed its belly multiple times, and it clearly enjoyed it. Time flies when you’re with adorable animals. We spent hours there.
What sort of dog would you like?
Feb 9, 2025 2:49 PM
1
"It was sunny today. After lunch, we took MeeMaw to church for the assembly. Dad and I strolled around the area and came across an animal shelter. I had a strong urge to adopt a puppy, but of course, Dad said no. Many friendly dogs roamed freely. A Chihuahua lay on its back beside me, basking in the sun. I rubbed its belly multiple times, and it clearly enjoyed it. Time flies when you're around adorable animals—we ended up spending hours there."
Tips for Improvement: 1. "To the church" → "To church" - When referring to a place in a general sense (like attending a service), "to church" sounds more natural than "to the church." 2. "Discovered an animal shelter" → "Came across an animal shelter" - "Came across" feels more natural for unexpected discoveries during a walk. 3. "Were loose and allowed to run about freely" → "Roamed freely" - This makes the sentence more concise and fluid. 4. "Next to me" → "Beside me" - "Beside" sounds slightly smoother in this context. 5. "Time flies when you’re with adorable animals. We spent hours there." → "Time flies when you're around adorable animals—we ended up spending hours there." - Combining the sentences adds a more natural flow. Your writing is already very strong! These small tweaks just make it sound even more natural and polished. Let me know if you'd like more variations!
Feb 10, 2025 8:31 AM
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