It's rude. It is used to indicate that you are making a very big effort, which you hope will be appreciated. "You're pulling my leg." This means : "You're teasing me."

I assume you are aware that "balls" can mean "testicles." It is a puzzling word that can used without embarrassment in some contexts ("the count is two balls and one strike") but not others. The answer to your question is NO, for three reasons. 1) The most important reason is that the expression is angry and uncomplimentary. It doesn't mean that the other person is teasing you. It means that the other person is complaining, nagging, insisting that you do something you don't think you should be asked to do. It's language you use in a big argument. People say it when they starting to yell at each other. You lose your temper, you yell it at your boss, and then your boss fires you. That's the kind of language it is. 2) it's vulgar. You need to grow up in a culture to have a sense of when you can say something rude and have it be accepted as a joke, or as friendly teasing. I don't know Iranian culture. In the U.S. when kids get to be seven or eight years old they start trying to use bad words they have overheard adults using, and they don't use them correctly. Foreign speakers who don't know the culture, and don't use the vulgar language with exactly the right tone of voice, sound like little kids. 3) The literal meaning of "bust my balls" is that someone is going to castrate you in a painful way. This is too unpleasant to be a friendly joke if you are saying it to a woman.

An American told me that's fine using it with some cool girls. Now I understand what that "cool" mean!!! :)

"Balls" mean "testicles". I'm sure that answers your question about how appropriate it is to say to a woman.