Jeff
Punography
For your weekend enjoyment. If you don't understand these jokes, ask me and I shall explain. Please indicate the joke by its number.
1. I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.
2. I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
3. When chemists die, they barium.
4. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
5. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
6.How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it.
7. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me .
8. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
9. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down .
10. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
11. They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type O.
12. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
13. PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
14. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
15. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
16. Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
17. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
18. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
19. Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
20. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
21. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
22. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
23. Broken pencils are pointless.
24. I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
25. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
26. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
27. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
28. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
29. All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen . Police have nothing to go on.
30. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
31. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
32. Velcro - what a rip off!
33. Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
34. Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
35. Earthquake in Washington, obviously government's fault.
36. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
28 de abr. de 2012 2:22
Correcciones · 6
Melaminefree
Punography
For your weekend enjoyment. If you don't understand these
13. PMS jokes, ask me and I shall explain. Please indicate the joke by its number.
1. I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.
2. I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
3. When chemists die, they barium.
4. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
5. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
6.How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it.
7. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me .
8. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
9. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down .
10. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
11. They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type O.
12. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
13. PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
ren't funny, period. --Women in that period are not pleasant, and
may be unfriendly to other people.
14. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
--?
15. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
16. Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
--Pop quiz
literally means a test. Maybe, it has something to do with soda
drinks.是不是会打嗝的意思呀，我猜。
16. Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. --a) The enginneer has to
pay some batteries as punishment. b) 充电
17. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
--?
18. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
--Holy and hell out
sound alike?
19. Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils?
--pupils means a) young students b) eye balls
20. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
--urine = you are in
21. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
-- four =
for?
22. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
23. Broken pencils are pointless.
24. I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
--I am not
sure. I think the meaning itself is funny.
23. Broken pencils are pointless. --a)They cannot draw a point. b) They are
useless.
24. I tried to catch some fog. I mist. --I mist = I really caught the fog. I
missed, on the contrary.
25. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
--thesaurus sounds like dinosaur.
26. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
--It's obvious.
However, I do not what exactly kidney bank is. It can be a) a bank of many
kidneys肾脏仓库b)? Liverpool: a) a name of a place b) a pool of liver 肝脏仓库
27. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
--interest: a) profit b)
passion
28. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
--Marx: a) the
famous philosopher b) marks, score
29. All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen . Police have nothing to go on.
nothing to go on. -- nothing to go on: a) no solutions b) no way to relieve
nature
30. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
--?
31. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
--?
32. Velcro - what a rip off!
--? Velcro is hard to pronounce?
33. Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
--?
34. Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
-- deer dear
35. Earthquake in Washington, obviously government's fault.
--fault
fought=defeated?
36. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. -- I'm not so
sure: a) I am still so indecisive b) Maybe I am less indecisive, and maybe I am
still as indecisive. That is to say, I am not sure of myself.
...Leer más
5 de mayo de 2012
Jeff
#13. The keywords here are PMS are caused by periods (月經). And "period" also means "full stop". "Period" is also slang means "no further discussion." For example, "You cannot go out to play today. Period". ie "You cannot go out to play today. You cannot ask any more questions; no more discussion."
14: Two meaning of reservation are 定座 and 禁伐區. It is a US polite/euphemism used to keep the native Indians in prison after the whites took over their land which is still in force today. However, they have become "independent" territory where normal US are not applied in there anymore. They have they own laws and law enforcement. Hence US enforcement is not allowed to enter without approval of the Indian tribal leaders.
15. Pop is also a slang for soda.
16 Energizing Bunny (not Engineer) is a pink toy rabbit which beats a drum and moves around using Duracell batteries in a advertisment to show that the batteries has more power than other brands. Very famous ad in the US. "Battery" has another meaning: 毆打罪
17: Grew on me is an idiom meaning "to like". eg. I did not like him at first. However, as time went, his infectious smiles grew on me.
18: verb "the hell out of it". means verb 全部. boil the hell out of it means 全部潽去. Beat the hell out of you... 狠狠打到你死為止. Same as beat the shit of you.
22. Slang. "It hit me" means sudden realization. "I could not understand the meaning until it hit me."
23: You almost got it but wrong thinking. Broken pencils have no 笔尖. 那就無意義了.不可用來寫.
30: dough means money. It's slang. Other slang: Clam. Many other terms used by gangsters of the old.
31. Crepes (pronounce like "krape") to mean creep (wrong pronunciation by some people). It's a French word.
32: pronounced like ("Vell crow")
33. A sketch is a 素描圖画. Hence the meaning also means 不詳細或不清.
35. fault also means an earthquake fault. 斷層
5 de mayo de 2012 · Responder
Melaminefree
PunographyI shall try to explain it.
Punography The art of puns
For your weekend enjoyment. If you don't understand these jokes, ask me and I
shall explain. Please indicate the joke by its number.
1. I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.
-- 8 bits equal a byte. 16 bits
equal a word.
2. I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
--sinking
3. When chemists die, they barium.
--?
4. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
-- "wurst" is a German word, which
means sausage, and which sounds like worst.
5. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
--?
6.How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it.
--Moses was an important character
in the Bible. The Bible was origanlly written in Hebrews and Moses spoke
Hebrews. Hebrews looks like herbal at first glance.
7. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me .
--?
8. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met
herbivore.
--?
9. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down .
10. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
11. They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type O.
12. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
13. PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
14. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
15. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
16. Energizer Bunny arrested. Charge. --I can't put the
book down because of the anti-gravity device and I cannot understand with battery.
17.
10. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
18. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
19. Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
20. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
21. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
22. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
23. Broken pencils are pointless.
24. I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
25. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
26. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
27. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
28. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
29. All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen . Police have nothing to go on.
30. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
31. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
32. Velcro - what a rip off!
33. Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
34. Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
35. Earthquake in Washington, obviously government's fault.
36. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. --?
11. They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type O. --It was a typo.
12. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. --bar. Bra is ... something that women
wear.
...Leer más
28 de abril de 2012
Jeff
#3 - barium sounds like "bury 'em"
#5 - brake fluid is used to stop a car. He has lots of brake fluid in him that he can stop anytime from this addiction.
#6: "Hebrews" can be broken into "He brews" - tea brewing.
#7: The meaning of dawn can mean sunrise or "realize".
#8: A herbivore is a vegetable eater.
#9: anti-gravity means "cannot go down", or "cannot put down". The sentence means that he cannot put the book down because the book is about "anti-gravity".
10: Puns mean "play on words". Here play means 玩. However another meaning of "play" is 一塲戲. This is the meaning used in the sentence.
12: Dyslexia is a mental disorder in which one of the characteristics is seeing letters in the wrong place. So instead of walking into a bar, what he saw or entered into a bra.
28 de abril de 2012 · Responder
Jeff
Punography
For your weekend enjoyment. If you don't understand these jokes, ask me and I shall explain. Please indicate the joke by its number.
1. I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.
2. I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
3. When chemists die, they barium.
4. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
5. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
6.How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it.
7. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me .
8. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
9. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down .
10. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
11. They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type O.
12. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
13. PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
14. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
15. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
16. Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
17. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
18. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
19. Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
20. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
21. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
22. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
23. Broken pencils are pointless.
24. I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
25. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
26. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
27. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
28. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
29. All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen . Police have nothing to go on.
30. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
31. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
32. Velcro - what a rip off!
33. Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
34. Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
35. Earthquake in Washington, obviously government's fault.
36. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
...Leer más
No... Mist sounds almost like missed. For example, "I want to catch a ball. I missed it". The sentence should be written as, "I tried to catch some fog. I missed". That's why the sentence is interesting as you mentioned, fog and mist are similar but not synonymns. They are not the same, a mist is less dense than a fog.
28 de abril de 2012
Andre
Punography
For your weekend enjoyment. If you don't understand these jokes, ask me and I shall explain. Please indicate the joke by its number.
1. I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.
2. I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
3. When chemists die, they barium.
4. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
5. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.
6.How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it.
7. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me .
8. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
9. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down .
10. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
11. They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type O.
12. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
13. PMS jokes aren't funny, period.
14. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
15. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
16. Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.
17. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
18. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
19. Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
20. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
21. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.
22. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
23. Broken pencils are pointless.
24. I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
25. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
26. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
27. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
28. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
29. All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen . Police have nothing to go on.
30. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
31. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
32. Velcro - what a rip off!
33. Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
34. Venison for dinner? Oh deer!
35. Earthquake in Washington, obviously government's fault.
36. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
...Leer más
24. I tried to catch some fog. I mist
Hi Jeff;
I saw that fog and mist are synonyms,but I could not catch the joke in : I'm mist.
maybe it means that fog wants capture itself?
28 de abril de 2012
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Competencias lingüísticas
Chino (mandarín), Chino (cantonés), Chino (otro), Inglés
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Chino (mandarín), Chino (cantonés), Chino (otro)
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