**This story contains graphic and explicit material it is not recommended for children only for mature audiences** David Sedaris's The Cow and the Turkey addresses issues of greed and revenge. I hope you enjoy it. Send me a message me for your free pdf copy of this book and if you would like discuss it. https://www.italki.com/en/teacher/13365914 The cow was notoriously cheap, so it surprised everyone when she voted yes for the secret Santa scheme. It was the horse’s suggestion, and she backed it immediately, saying, “I choose the turkey.” The pig, who considered himself an authority on all things gifty, cleared his throat. “That’s not actually the way it works,” he said. “It’s secret, see, so we each draw a name and keep it to ourselves until Christmas morning.” “Why do you always have to be like that?” the cow asked, and the duck sighed, “Here we go.” “First you ask me to give someone a Christmas present,” the cow continued, “and then you tell me it has to be done your way. Like, ‘Oh, I have four legs so I’m better than everyone else.’ ” “Don’t you have four legs?” the pig asked. The cow loosed something between a moan and a sigh. “All right, just because you have a curly tail,” she said.