Hi I am seeking help for my toefl writing, but can't find a proper teacher

It was sunny and humid today. I was really busy due to my new schedule. After school, I hurried to my vocal class, which lasted an hour and a half. Since Mom's such a foodie, she doesn’t accept eating on the go. Instead, we had a proper dinner at a new place, which took another hour. Then, after a half-hour commute home, I hit the gym. To my surprise, the gym was more crowded this late than it was earlier. Some people were on their cellphones while jogging on treadmills, making others wait. Maybe soon they'll be binding cellphones on their faces while walking and bump into a tree. It was an exhausting day.

In fact, there are two main opinions about defining beauty in my country. Someone think that women who always work out and have a great figure look really stunning. Their strong muscles make their charming body shape seemingly sculptured by an artist. They sprend out a special feeling that they are very healthy when we walk by them. This is very different from the time a decade ago. As the sport tennis has been popular in my country, more and more people like these tennis athletes , such as Zheng Qinwen who is the champion of women's tennis in Pair olympics. On the other side, some people think that women who are gentle and classic are really beautiful. They give us a feeling that they have just come from the hundreds years ago. If they wear traditional costumes and play traditional instruments or dance , everyone's attention will definitely attract on them. We never doubt our ancestors' aesthetic standard. The world is full of a variety of beauties, we need to find each of them instead of arguments.

I dreamt a chemistry teacher who taught in our school for a short period of time. She treats everyone well. If I didn’t see it, I wouldn’t believe there’s such a big difference between people. For example, she shared her snacks with the cleaner who was on night shift. She even invited me to her place. In winter, her cooking brought warmth to me — a person wanders from place to place. After her quit, many people asked me and shared memories about her. On her last day of working for the school, she said she wanted to go to the hospital with me. I knew that because she wanted to shared the cab with me. She even waited for me and called me in the hospital. I said, “I won’t go with you. I’m going back to Tianjin.” She said farewells, then turned and went. I couldn’t stop my tears and dared not to watch her retreating figure.