Robson Leonel Branco
Does this phrase sounds good to you as a native? You don't find a great love on avenues On street corners, or in the loneliness of a bar...
10 lis 2024 11:08
Odpowiedzi · 6
2
Yes. It’s quite beautiful actually
10 lis 2024 11:14
1
I agree with Simon, very beautiful.
11 lis 2024 02:40
I would rather change" love" to Lover to make it distinct from the general term love.
11 lis 2024 22:13
Without context, it sounds non-native, meaningless, and pretentious. It’s just a list of unconnected locations where you don’t find ‘a great love’, whatever that is. As part of something bigger, however, it could make sense.
11 lis 2024 18:26
Yes, it does. I would change the word order so as to place more emphasis on the most important idea, which is "a great love". The way you have it worded, too much importance is placed on the list "avenues, street corners, a bar" and on "you don't find". I would also get "you" out of it completely and use passive voice instead. Passive voice emphasizes the lack of an actor, so also your loneliness. To add further emphasis, you can capitalize "great love", thereby treating it as if it were a proper noun and heightening its importance. "A Great Love is nowhere to be found on avenues ..."
11 lis 2024 14:33
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