Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important? “Nowadays, it is true that a various types of music can be found in the world. Music is a vital part of human life. I would

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Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important? “Nowadays, it is true that a various types of music can be found in the world. Music is a vital part of human life. I would say that traditional music is more important than international music. This essay takes a closer look at this argument Without a doubt, music plays an important role in daily life. On the one hand, it can describe the deep feelings that words can’t. Music connects people, no matter what the language. On the other hand, it can lift people’s spirits and helps them feel better. Life without music would be boring. Why should traditional music be valued over the international music that is heard everywhere? Firstly, traditional music or folk music is one of national heritages. Traditional music can help people understand a country better. It represents the history, traditions and thoughts of a community. For example Vietnamese folk music is extremely diverse and it expresses spiritual cultural activities of country people. It is true that international music such as the R&B and rock …are more popular with youngsters than traditional music. However, international music is only for entertainment. It can be catchy, contemporary and exciting but it is essentially a commercial product that is marketed and sold by business people. Furthermore, we can hear a modern melody everywhere in the world and it is hard to say which country it belongs to. In other words, the unique difference can help us make a deep impression on people around the world. Traditional melodies can symbolize a country's identity. In conclusion, music plays a central role in people’s spirits and I believe that traditional music should be given more importance than international music. It should be should be performed and made available to the public, particularly the younger generation.”

3 sie 2014 01:11

Poprawki · 5

Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than (x)?

“Nowadays, it is true that a various different types of music can be found in the world. Music is a vital part of human life. I would say that traditional music is more important than international music [international music = folk music = traditional music; this is unclear]. This essay takes a closer look at this argument

Without a doubt, music plays an important role in daily life. On the one hand,[1] For instance/First of all, it can describe the deep feelings that words can’t cannot [2]. Music connects people, no matter what the language (of the music or the people?). On the other hand Likewise/Secondly,/In addition to this, it can lift people’s spirits and helps help them feel better. Life without music would be boring.
Why should traditional music be valued over the international music [3] that is which can be heard everywhere ANYwhere? Firstly, traditional music or folk music is one of the national heritages of a(ny) given country. Traditional music can help people understand a country better. It represents the history, traditions and thoughts of a community. For example Vietnamese folk music is extremely diverse and it expresses symbolizes/reflects the spiritual and cultural activities of country (rural ?)people. It is true that international music such as the R&B and rock, … are is more popular with youngsters (young people/youth) than traditional music. However, international music is only for entertainment. It can be catchy, contemporary innovative/original and exciting but it is essentially a commercial product that is marketed and sold by business people. Furthermore, we can hear a modern melody everywhere anywhere in the world and it is hard to say which country it belongs to. In other words, the unique differences among the many types of folk music can help us make a deep impression on people around the world. Traditional melodies can symbolize a country's identity.

In conclusion, music plays a central role in people’s spirits [4]and I believe that traditional music should be given regarded with more importance than international music. It (what?) should be should be performed and made more available to the public, particularly to the younger generation.”

1. on the one hand/on the other hand - these are for contrast; on the one hand, music is good beause x. On the other hand, music is bad because y.

2. since the verb can is emphasized here, there should be no contraction

3. perhaps you mean pop music? International Music = Global or 'World Music', a separate genre.

4. music can shape someone's spirit, play a role in someone's life, but it cannot 'play a role in someone's spirit'

3 sierpnia 2014

Music is a soul of nation. We cannot introduce our real life without music which helps humans to reduce their stress and anxiety after the long, tiring day at work and other daily social activities. Music is an essential part of our life. There are different types of music listened by people all over the world. I think that the traditional plays a significant role in the history of each nation and it is more crucial than the international music. In this essay I will provide two reasons of why the traditional music of high priority. The traditional music is necessary for people in order to maintain their own identity and cultural heritage. Traditional music can help learn a great deal about their country and roots better. For example, Kyrgyz folk music is nomadic and rural which is closely related to Turkmen and Kazakh folk forms. In our culture there are travelling musicians and shamans called manaschi who are famous for their singing and komuz playing. Their music is related to heroic epics, such as the famous story the Manas epic, a patriotic tale of the well-known Kyrgyz warrior and his descendants who protected his people against the Chinese invaders in a difficult period of time. It is true that nowadays majority young people are fond of listening to the international types of music such as American hip-hop, jazz and K-pop music which is extremely popular in South Korea. However, the international music is played only to entertain people. People listen to traditional when they go to the concert to see and have a great time watching the performance of foreign musicians. In conclusion, I would like to say that music plays an essential role in the life of humanity. I think that young people should pay more attention to the traditional music than the international music because such kind of tradition is deeply rooted in people’s culture and passed from one generation to another generation.

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