You can say it either way. #1 would be the more common expression. However, in a sense they are the same because "bailed" is just a short way to say "bailed out". The expression comes from boating. When you are in a small boat and water gets into the boat, you take a bucket (if you fortunately have one) and start to bail the water out of the boat. The expression has expanded its meaning to include removing anything (including yourself) from anywhere to avoid trouble.

Bailed on me is correct "Bailed on someone" means to change plans or not follow through with plans or arrangements. "Bail out" means to get someone out of trouble or a difficult situation. Or literally to pay the fee to get someone out of jail. However we wouldn't say " bailed out on me" we would rather daily " bailed me out".

I think either one sounds fine. Number one is more common. As I’m sure you know, that’s more of an informal or slang way of saying “She didn’t show up” And it has a negative meaning. So the listener would think she didn’t show because she was being rude or dismissive towards you, not because she had like an emergency or acceptable reason for not being there.

We were going to see a movie but she bailed on me. (Not ‘gonna’ , not ‘bailed out’) ‘To bail someone out’ is an expression, but has a different meaning: When I was arrested, my dad bailed me out. (He posted bail for me) There was no way I was going to finish on time, but fortunately my siblings bailed me out. (They helped me in a time of difficulty and I didn’t experience the negative consequences of not finishing.) ‘To bail something out’ means to empty it. Use the bucket to bail out the boat.

Out on me