The subjunctive is not 'no longer active'! In fact, the subjunctive is alive and well. We native speakers use it all the time and in all kinds of everyday phrases, from "I'd rather you didn't do that" to "It's time we left". Some people may not be aware that they're using subjunctives, but they certainly do use them. It is also worth noting that subjunctive use is actually MORE common in American English than in British English. Now for your question:
As I'm sure you know, "If only you would take the time" and "If only you took the time" are both examples of a subjunctive used to express a strong wish for a situation to be different from how it really is.
When you say "If only you took the time", the reality is that the other person doesn't take the time to ask.
indicative = You don't take
subjunctive = "If only you took!"
When you say "If only you would take the time", the reality is that the other person won't take the time to ask.
indicative = You won't take
subjunctive = "If only you would take!"
So, what's the difference between someone who doesn't do something and someone who WON'T do something? To understand that, you need to look at the original meaning of the modal verb 'will': the meaning that the German language has retained to this day and the one which has given us the noun 'will' (as in 'the will to do something') and the adjective 'willing'. As you, can see, it is all to do with volition: a desire and a willingness to do something. If a person WON'T do something, this means that they are unwilling to do it, are afraid to do it or refuse to do it.
In fact, the meaning of "I wish you took the time to ask" and "I wish you would take the time to ask" is almost identical. If you're talking about present behaviour, the only difference is that the second implies more unwillingness to ask on the part of the other person and possibly more frustration on the part of the speaker. The second comment could also refer to a future event.