Mojtaba
Hello guys. You listen my voice from shahrood , a small city in north-east of iran . It has a beautifull nature and clean weather . You can go to jungle and enjoy foggy weather, go to desert and watch hot sandys, or go to seaside and watch birds , in less than 2 hours by driving . The people are kind and so hospitable in my city . I invite you to come to my city .
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14 ม.ค. 2021 เวลา 6:22
การแก้ไข · 1
1
Hello guys. You ARE LISTENING TO my voice from Shahrood, a small city in north-east of Iran. It has BEAUTIFUL nature and clean weather. You can go to THE jungle and enjoy foggy weather, go to THE desert and SEE hot sandys, or go to THE seaside and watch birds , in less than TWO hours by CAR. The people are SO kind and hospitable in my city. I invite you to come to my city.
Hi! What made you choose to describe the weather as foggy? That sounds very unpleasant in English, and not like something especially enjoyable. I personally would recommend describing The weather more, specifically focusing on a more positive element of it. Maybe focus more on the temperature, in this case? Is that pleasant? Also, when you say sandys, do you mean sand or sand dunes? Sand dunes are tall hills of sand in the desert. Watch your punctuation- all city and country names must be capitalised. Also in English writing, all numbers that are smaller than ten must be written as words, not numbers when writing a text (eg. Two, not 2, but 15 can be written instead of fifteen). I put my corrections in capital letters above... hope this helps! 😊
16 มกราคม 2021
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