April,
Why use HAS DONE and MADE?
The present perfect can be used to relate events that happened in the indefinite PAST to the PRESENT in order to make them important NOW. The present perfect allows English speakers to express some fairly subtle meanings.
My cousin's decisions that MADE my family angry and disappointed with her in the past.
You STILL respect her NOW for making her own decisions.
How do you relate your continuing respect in the PRESENT moment for your cousin's decisions to the fact that her actions angered and disappointed your family in the PAST? You use the present perfect.
*Although my cousin HAS DONE a lot of things that MADE my family angry and disappointed with her, I still respect her for making her own decisions.
,
By using the present perfect you, the writer, make the cousin's past actions alive and important in the present moment. This sentence has a much different emotional content than:
Although my cousin DID a lot of things that MADE my family angry and disappointed with her, I still respect her for making her own decisions.
It also has a different emotional content than:
Although my cousin HAS DONE a lot of things that HAVE MADE my family angry and disappointed with her, I still respect her for making her own decisions.....In this version of your sentence the anger and disappointment of your family is also brought into the present moment.
*In the original sentence the reader can assume that since you used the past simple verb MADE, the family is no longer angry and disappointed with your cousin, or if they are, that you consider the family's attitude as a PAST EVENT which, ALTHOUGH it affects you now, does not change the fact that you STILL respect her in the present moment.