Iris
can you help me to correct this eassy? There were a lot of shocking news about depression last year. Many celebrities have committed suicide because of depression. It contained Korean female star Shirley. Depression is a neglected mental illness, its severity is often underestimated. According to reports, more than one hundred million people in China suffer from different degrees of depression. What an amazing number! Unfortunately, less than 10 percent of people with depression are diagnosed and treated effectively in China. I don’t know what this number is in other countries.I think behind this reflects certain social problems. Chinese young people are under great pressure. Stress comes from their job, finance ,marriage and so on. Everyone tries their best to survive.They live in a tense atmosphere even have no time to settle down and read a book or listen to a song. China is still a developing country which made a great progress economically, it still have a lot of work to do. China was an imperial state until the end of Qing dynasty, ancient Chinese traditional thought and culture had a great influence on modern China. China needs time to change some of its old concepts and establish and improve a new social system. Whatever,I believe everything will go in a good direction.
10 Thg 04 2020 04:54
Bài chữa · 5
can you help me to correct this eassy?

There was a lot of shocking news about depression last year. Many celebrities have committed suicide because of depression.
It includes Korean female star Shirley. Depression is a neglected mental illness,
its severity is often underestimated.
According to reports, more than one hundred million people in China suffer from different degrees of depression. What an amazing number! [Note: this sounds very positive. Maybe use a different word than amazing, like 'astonishing'] Unfortunately, less than 10 percent of people with depression are diagnosed and treated effectively in China. I don’t know what this number is in other countries.I think <s>behind</s> this reflects certain social problems.

Chinese young people are under great pressure. Stress comes from their job,
finance, marriage and so on. Everyone tries their best to survive.They live in a tense atmosphere, even having no time to settle down and read a book or listen to a song. China is still a developing country; even though it has made <s>a </s>great progress economically, it still has a lot of work to do. China was an imperial state until the end of the Qing dynasty, ancient Chinese traditional thought and culture had a great influence on modern China. China needs time to change some of its old concepts and establish and improve a new social system.

Whatever, I believe everything will go in a good direction.

['Whatever' sounds very casual here; 'in any case' would be better]
10 tháng 4 năm 2020
Can you help me to correct this essay

There was a lot of shocking news about depression last year. Many celebrities have committed suicide because of depression.
This included the female Korean <em>(sounds more natural in this order to me)</em> star Shirley. Depression is a neglected mental illness, its severity is often underestimated.
According to reports, more than one hundred million people in China suffer from different degrees of depression. What an amazing <em>(kind of agree with Chris about the word amazing)</em> number! Unfortunately, less than 10 percent of people with depression are diagnosed and treated effectively in China. I don’t know what this number is in other countries. I think <s>behind</s> <em>(slightly awkward, in my opinion)</em> this reflects certain social problems.

Chinese young people are under great pressure. Stress comes from their job, finances, marriage and so on. Everyone tries their best to survive.They live in a tense atmosphere and don't even have no time to settle down and read a book or listen to a song. China is still a developing country, and although it has made <s style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51);">a</s> great progress economically, it still has a lot of work to do. China was an imperial state until the end of the Qing dynasty, and ancient Chinese traditional thought and culture had a great influence on modern China. China needs time to change some of its old concepts and establish and improve a new social system.

Whatever, I believe everything will go in a good direction.

Great job!
10 tháng 4 năm 2020
can you help me to correct this eassy?

There <s>were</s> was <em>(news is uncountable so we use a singular verb)</em> a lot of shocking news about depression last year. Many celebrities have committed suicide because of depression.
<s>It contained</s> This included Korean female star Shirley. Depression is a neglected mental illness,
its severity is often underestimated.
According to reports, more than one hundred million people in China suffer from different degrees of depression. What an amazing <em>(amazing has a positive connotation, so doesn't really work here!)</em> number! Unfortunately, less than 10 percent of people with depression are diagnosed and treated effectively in China. I don’t know what this number is in other countries. I think<s> behind </s>this reflects certain social problems.

Chinese young people are under great pressure. Stress comes from their job,
<s>finance </s>financial circumstances,marriage and so on. Everyone tries their best to survive.They live in a tense atmosphere <s>even have no time</s> don't even have time to settle down and read a book or listen to a song. China is still a developing country which has made a great progress economically, it still <s>have </s>has a lot of work to do. China was an imperial state until the end of the Qing dynasty, ancient Chinese traditional thought and culture had a great influence on modern China. China needs time to change some of its old concepts and establish and improve a new social system.

Whatever,I believe everything will go in a good direction.
10 tháng 4 năm 2020
Bạn muốn tiến bộ xa hơn?
Hãy tham gia cộng đồng học tập này và thử nghiệm những bài tập miễn phí!