This might be a difference between British and American English, but your first example with "bow out" sounds okay to me. Although the term does usually mean to resign from a position, it can also mean "to retreat or withdraw" (as defined by the Oxford English Dictionary: "to retire (gracefully); to retreat or withdraw; to resign").
You normally can't "withdraw" from something before it begins, but I think in a case where there was a prior long-term commitment (the singer had already agreed, planned, and intended to do the charity event), it's possible to describe him/her as "bowing out" of the commitment before the event itself takes place. As Fergus notes, the phrases "back out" and "duck out" have negative connotations, whereas "bow out" suggests that the person leaves gracefully. The term "bow out" therefore seems preferable to me, if you want to leave a more positive impression of the singer.