There’s no single rule that works for choosing between "to" and "for" in every case, but there are some helpful guidelines that cover many of the common uses. Unfortunately, English does have many exceptions, so memorizing specific combinations is sometimes necessary. Here’s a breakdown of general guidelines to help:
1. "To" Often Suggests Direction or a Recipient
Use "to" when indicating direction or transfer. This applies when something is being directed toward someone or something, whether that’s physical, emotional, or abstract.
Examples:
Give it to me.
This applies to everyone.
We’re going to the park.
She was kind to him.
2. "For" Often Suggests Purpose, Benefit, or Suitability
Use "for" when describing the purpose or benefit of an action, or when saying something is suited to someone’s needs or situation. This includes when something is done on behalf of someone or is generally beneficial for them.
Examples:
This gift is for you.
I’m looking for a new job.
This is healthy for you.
She prepared dinner for us.
3. Verbs and Adjectives That Commonly Pair with "To" or "For"
With "to": Many verbs and adjectives that imply direction, response, or openness often pair with "to".
Listen to, reply to, speak to, explain to, belong to, married to
Kind to, similar to, important to
With "for": Many verbs and adjectives that imply benefit, purpose, or need often pair with "for".
Look for, prepare for, wait for, provide for, search for
Good for, suitable for, responsible for
4. Some Common Exceptions
There are verbs and expressions that don’t follow these rules, so it’s useful to memorize them. For instance:
Apologize to someone for something: Here, "to" indicates the recipient of the apology, while "for" explains the reason.
Ask for: To request something (e.g., "She asked for help.").
By following these general patterns, you’ll often make the correct choice, but it’s a good idea to keep track of exceptions as you come across them