Basically, I cannot say what you write is wrong. One look at it, tells me that it is an essay answer where I always find extremely boring. It is as though they all came out from the same factory, boring and fact throwing enough just to satisfy the minimum word requirement. So I am editing it to make it more interesting, natural, etc and still to meet the minimum word requirement.
Travel abroad?
Topic: The culture of different countries are becoming increasingly similar, so there is no point for people to go traveling abroad for they could have the same experience at home. Do you agree or disagree?
With the development of communication technology and transportation means in recent years, people in from different parts of the world are more like living in a global community with homogeneous products and sharing the same news. However, simply to refuse to go abroad by referring to the increasing similarity between various countries because of this reason is not good enough a reasonable.
It is undeniable that one possible benefit we could get from traveling around is new and interesting culture or social custom we have never known before. This is not wrong but long winded. Try something like, "We all can benefit from learning new cultures and their customs." Nowadays modern technology and growing interaction across the world have enabled us to know some exotic things even in our own apartment by computer. However, the convenience of our access to diversified culture does not necessarily means that we need not go out anymore. Even though, with modern technology to bring exotic things closer to us, living and experiencing the real thing is better than watching it on TV. I know you are trying to fulfill the minimum word requirement. You need to fill it with more facts or have a more creative way of writing to state your reasons. Look at a travel magazine and see how more interesting they wrrite. Your essay is a typical boring essay written for tests.
Firstly, when we are provided with numerous second-hand information about the world outside, there is no objective method for we to judge whether they are non-biased or merely created for sensationalism. For instance, some horrible description about the unrest in an unfamiliar region may be made out of propaganda reason. Secondly, our personal involvement in a traveling experience is a good chance for we to communicate with local people directly and have a bite of local delicacies, a unique try you could never imagine by sitting at home. What information we gather from our armchairs cannot compare those that is experienced in real life. For example, how would one get to smell all those exotic aromas of their food from the TV? We can only be bystanders, watching indirectly as if in some kind of a movie script. We cannot pause here or there when we find something interesting. We just have to go along with the electronic guide. There may be rumours, perhaps false information about the place, intentional or not. We cannot know for sure if they are true or not. One's experience of joy can be a nightmare for others... Compare what you wrote to mine. Basically it is the same thing. However, yours sound so much like legalese instruction from some manual. This is because you use such phrases such as, "firstly", "objective method", "to conclude".
Apart from these, the unexpectation during each tour may be fascinating to some adventurous travelers like me. Stay curious is part of the fun for travel and our life as a whole. I do not know about others but I am person of great curiousity to find out how others live and see the world. Travelling is fun for me and I do not need further encouragement from others to explore this wonderful world of ours. See how more interesting the rewrite is and still able to meet the minimum word requirement.
To conclude, I would say although many nations are tend to be more similar, the experience of traveling abroad could never be replaced. You are again trying to fulfill the word requirement. A better conclusion would be, "Curiousity is the spice of life. So go out and enjoy before it is too late when you are unable to do so!"
