良く書けていますよ！あまり修正しませんでした。👍🏻 私もそうだと思いますね。普通は、趣味を仕事にするのは、とても素敵なアイデアです。お金を稼ぎながら、楽しい時間を過ごせるしです。でも、結局は、趣味は趣味です。楽しいはずですので、私の大事な趣味を仕事にしたくないなと思います。

1. “Because, there is possibility” → “because there is a possibility”: • “Because” should not start a new sentence. • Added “a” before “possibility” to make it grammatically correct. 2. “The people who love their hobby too much or want to be a professional, I think they should.” → “However, people who truly love their hobby or want to become professionals should consider it.” • “The people” → “people” (natural phrasing). • “Too much” sounds unnatural; “truly” is more appropriate. • “Want to be a professional” → “want to become professionals” (smoother). • “I think they should” is restructured for clarity. 3. “They like this will less likely to hate their hobby” → “They are less likely to lose their passion”: • “Like this” is unclear. • “Will less likely” → “are less likely” (correct word order). • “Hate their hobby” → “lose their passion” (more natural). 4. “And can concentrate on their hobby as work thoroughly” → “and can fully focus on their hobby as a career.” • “Fully focus” sounds more natural than “concentrate thoroughly.” • “As work” → “as a career” (better phrasing). 5. “So Maybe The people who has a passionate on their hobby” → “So, maybe people who are passionate about their hobby”: • “Maybe” should not be capitalized. • “The people who has” → “people who are” (subject-verb agreement). • “A passionate on” → “passionate about” (correct phrasing). If you want to improve your writing and speaking skills in English, I’d be happy to help! Book a conversation lesson with me to practice expressing your ideas naturally.