Oscar
Hi everyone,
I'm practicing my formal writing again, and I'm using the Cambridge website 'Write&Improve'. This website uses AI to correct the students' work.
I would like to know if you agree with the sentences marks as 'there are some problems in this sentence.' For example, in the intro:
The methodology for assessing students’ knowledge is crucial and is reflected in their performance and future in education. Such an issue is analyzed in the two contrasting passages that this essay touches upon.
Do you see any problems in this sentence, 'Such an issue is analyzed in the two contrasting passages that this essay touches upon.'?
It may be that the phrasal verb 'touch upon sth' doesn't fit here?
Because 'touch upon something' is like mentioning something briefly when you are talking or writing about something else, isn't it?
I'm sorry for the lengthy read folks! :)
Thanks a lot!
2023年2月22日 10:59
解答 · 17
1
The passage you quoted is not well written. I can easily believe it was written by a machine.
First problem: how can a "methodology" be "reflected in their performance and future". It doesn't make sense.
Second problem: You cannot "touch upon" a "passage". You can only touch upon an idea or thought.
2023年2月22日
1
I bet the "problem" is this: the sentence ends with a proposition. That breaks an old prescriptive rule about English grammar. Is your AI bot a prescriptive grammarian? If so, they might prefer "Such an issue is analyzed in the two contrasting passages upon which this essay touches." Feh.
2023年2月25日
1
I think "touches upon" is fine. What is not fine is "Such an issue"
What issue? There's no issue mentioned in the previous sentence.
2023年2月22日
1
Oscaaar!
"Such an issue is analyzed in the two contrasting passages that this essay touches upon."
Esto me parece bien.
También podrías decir: "This issue is analyzed..." or "This topic is analyzed..."
Un verdadero profesor puede tener una mejor opinión que la mía, jaja.
2023年2月22日
1
When in doubt, shorter, clearer sentences are better. Two short, easily understood sentences are more powerful than a long convoluted sentence. There is a tendency to over complicate formal writing. Complex is interesting. Complex is fine. When complex become unclear, it has become counterproductive.
Besides, it makes for good rythm to have a nice mix of sentences.
2023年2月22日
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