In Spain, we use this question instead:" ¿Me lo dices o me lo cuentas?
"¡No me digas!"
"¡No jodas!" You have to say them in a sarcastic way of course. The second one is more colloquial and kind of rude. And a sarcastic "gracias" works almost everywhere
you can also say "no me digas/jodas/gracias, Sherlock/capitán Obvio" . They have become popular lately.
Actually you can be very creative when being sarcastic XD