Punography
13. PMS jokes aren't funny, period. --Women in that period are not pleasant, and may be unfriendly to other people.
14. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. --?
15. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. --Pop quiz literally means a test. Maybe, it has something to do with soda drinks.是不是会打嗝的意思呀，我猜。
16. Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. --a) The enginneer has to pay some batteries as punishment. b) 充电
17. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. --?
18. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it! --Holy and hell out sound alike?
19. Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? --pupils means a) young students b) eye balls
20. When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. --urine = you are in
21. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds. -- four = for?
22. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me! --I am not sure. I think the meaning itself is funny.
23. Broken pencils are pointless. --a)They cannot draw a point. b) They are useless.
24. I tried to catch some fog. I mist. --I mist = I really caught the fog. I missed, on the contrary.
25. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. --thesaurus sounds like dinosaur.
26. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. --It's obvious. However, I do not what exactly kidney bank is. It can be a) a bank of many kidneys肾脏仓库b)? Liverpool: a) a name of a place b) a pool of liver 肝脏仓库
27. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. --interest: a) profit b) passion
28. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. --Marx: a) the famous philosopher b) marks, score
29. All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen . Police have nothing to go on. -- nothing to go on: a) no solutions b) no way to relieve nature
30. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. --?
31. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. --?
32. Velcro - what a rip off! --? Velcro is hard to pronounce?
33. Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy. --?
34. Venison for dinner? Oh deer! -- deer dear
35. Earthquake in Washington, obviously government's fault. --fault fought=defeated?
36. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. -- I'm not so sure: a) I am still so indecisive b) Maybe I am less indecisive, and maybe I am still as indecisive. That is to say, I am not sure of myself.
I shall try to explain it.
Punography The art of puns
For your weekend enjoyment. If you don't understand these jokes, ask me and I shall explain. Please indicate the joke by its number.
1. I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit. -- 8 bits equal a byte. 16 bits equal a word.
2. I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now. --sinking
3. When chemists die, they barium. --?
4. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. -- "wurst" is a German word, which means sausage, and which sounds like worst.
5. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime. --?
6.How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it. --Moses was an important character in the Bible. The Bible was origanlly written in Hebrews and Moses spoke Hebrews. Hebrews looks like herbal at first glance.
7. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me . --?
8. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. --?
9. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. --I can't put the book down because of the anti-gravity device and I cannot understand it.
10. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. --?
11. They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type O. --It was a typo.
12. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. --bar. Bra is ... something that women wear.
