Yusaku
Can you correct the passage? I wrote a passage for exam. Can you correct it after the topic? ・write an essay on the given TOPIC. ・Give Three reasons to support your answer. ・Structure: introduction, main body, and conclusion ・Suggested length: 200-240 words Topic Should democratic nations actively promote the spread of democracy to nondemocratic nations? Recently, a lot of nations struggle to install democracy into their countries themselves. Some of them have achieved the process and the other still have a nag to distribute the thought. I will address three main notions against this statement. At an onset of the discussion, democracy is not perfect regime type all over the world and it is just a plausible one in humankind history. Even if France which is the first country to install it took over five decades. Moreover, Brazil originally started democracy, however, Brazil came back to military tyranny. In the historical fact, I cannot say that democracy is the best regime type. To be continue the next question
2018年1月10日 12:15
解答 · 2
Here are SOME improvements you can make immediately: The other still -> The OTHERS still is not perfect regime type -> is not A perfect regime type in humankind history -> in THE history OF humankind Even in France, which was the first country to establish it, it took over five decades. Last sentence: History proves that democracy may not always be the best regime type. There are more things you could do but I'll leave that to someone else :) Good luck!
2018年1月10日
That's very long, and there are quite a few corrections needed . It's not suitable for this answers section. You would be better to post it as a notebook entry, where it's much easier to correct.
2018年1月10日
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