It's gibberish, because you're reading a book that is either machine translated or written by someone who hasn't mastered English... "Black event" is straight out of Chinese. Contextually, I guess "Not if" means you have triumphed over X, *unless* you are still reminded of Y. "True conquest is the causing the calamity" hahaha. This is incredibly incorrect. Get a better book. This one is doing damage to your English.

"not if" = "I won't see (believe) it if"