wendy
As more and more people live in cities, many new problems appears. For example, it takes us a lot time to find the best way for children's growth, because the environment around children is very different from what we had in our childhood. When we were children, running in the sushine and playing games with friends were the things we did most. We felt happy every day. But everything changes after more and more electronic devices came into our daily lives. Children have a lot of E-learning courses online insteads of going out for fun. They spend most of the time staying home. Without enjoying the nature and playing with friends, the percentage of children who have psychological problem increases really fast. This makes us feel very worried. The memory of sunshine and laugh just belong to adults. I hope that every adult can spend some time thinking about how much the electronic devices influence our children.
2025年3月26日 07:55
修改 · 2
As more and more people live in cities, many new problems appear. For example, finding the best way to support children’s growth has become challenging because their environment is very different from what we had in our childhood. When we were children, running in the sunshine and playing games with friends were the things we did most. We felt happy every day. But everything changed when electronic devices became a major part of our daily lives. Now, children spend a lot of time on e-learning courses instead of going outside for fun. They stay indoors most of the time. Without enjoying nature and playing with friends, the percentage of children experiencing psychological problems is increasing rapidly. This is a growing concern. The memories of sunshine and laughter now belong mostly to adults. I hope every adult takes some time to reflect on how much electronic devices influence our children.
1. “Many new problems appears” → “many new problems appear” • “Problems” is plural, so the correct verb is “appear,” not “appears.” 2. “It takes us a lot time to find the best way for children’s growth” → “Finding the best way to support children’s growth has become challenging” • “It takes us a lot of time” is awkward in this context. • “Support children’s growth” is more natural than “the best way for children’s growth.” 3. “Running in the sushine” → “Running in the sunshine” • Fixed the typo: “sushine” → “sunshine.” 4. “But everything changes after more and more electronic devices came into our daily lives” → “But everything changed when electronic devices became a major part of our daily lives” • “Changes” should be past tense (“changed”) to match “came.” • “Came into our daily lives” is slightly awkward; “became a major part of our daily lives” sounds smoother. 5. “Children have a lot of E-learning courses online insteads of going out for fun” → “Now, children spend a lot of time on e-learning courses instead of going outside for fun” • “Insteads” is incorrect; it should be “instead.” • “Have a lot of e-learning courses” → “spend a lot of time on e-learning courses” sounds more natural. 6. “The percentage of children who have psychological problem increases really fast” → “The percentage of children experiencing psychological problems is increasing rapidly” • “Psychological problem” should be plural (“psychological problems”). • “Increases really fast” → “is increasing rapidly” is more natural and formal. 7. “The memory of sunshine and laugh just belong to adults” → “The memories of sunshine and laughter now belong mostly to adults” • “Memory” should be plural (“memories”). • “Laugh” is incorrect; the noun form is “laughter.” 8. “I hope that every adult can spend some time thinking about how much the electronic devices influence our children” → “I hope every adult takes some time to reflect on how much electronic devices influence our childre
2025年3月27日 04:48
As more and more people live in cities, many new problems appear (plural!) . For example, it takes us a lot time to find the best way for children's growth, because the environment around children is very different from what we had in our childhood. When we were children, running in the sunshine (typo) and playing games with friends were the things we did most. We felt happy every day. But everything changed (past simple) or has changed (present perfect) after more and more electronic devices came into our daily lives. Children have a lot of E-learning courses online instead (typo) of going out/outside for fun. They spend most of the time staying home. Without enjoying nature (uncountable noun) and playing with friends, the percentage of children who have psychological problem increases really fast. This makes us feel very worried. The memory of sunshine and laughter (noun from the verb laugh) only belong to adults. I hope that every adult can spend some time thinking about how much electronic devices influence our children.
2025年3月26日 09:10
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