Very good essay.  Close to perfect.  Just a few comments...

It is probably true that to some extent young people profit more from taking one year off than others.

-- What does "others" refer to?  Older people?  If you MUST mention "others", I would refrase the sentence as follows:

1. Compared to older people, young people are more likely to profit from taking one year off.

2. Compared to older people, young people are more likely to benefit from taking one year off.

3. It is probably true that young people benefit more than older people by taking a year off.

Now, do you really need to mention "others"?  The essay seems to be about young people and the benefits of travel, not about the benefits for young people vs. "others".  So you may instead say:

1. It would be hard to dismiss the benefits that young people gain from taking one year off.

2. Most people would agree that young people gain a lot from taking one year off.

3. It is probably true that young people benefit immensely by taking a year off.

This hones their comprehensive ability abilities and makes them more capable before going to prepares them for the rigors of academia.

However, there are also arguments in favor of the opposite that favor an opposing view. One is that it would be difficult for students to readapt re-adapt to their academic study in university after one year’s of traveling or work.  -- I believe the traveling occurs before they've entered the university, right?

In conclusion, despite the possible disadvantages, I firmly support the idea to take of taking a gap year, especially when taking considering the benefits of enlarged vision and developed skills.